The insane ones have escaped again
But I can’t escape my fate,
As my days get blacker
I can’t let go of my anger,
I’m disposable, I’m dispensable
Dispersible, like a submersible
A tide worth killing,
I was friend shaped but you were unwilling.
I’d put a penny in the slot
But my wolf machine has died
I wasn’t going to be your coin operated boy
I couldn’t cut it if I tried.
I wanted you out of sight and out of mind.
Down amongst the shameful
The deluded and the deranged
The insane ones are calling
They’ll put you in the frame.
You’re reprehensible,
But I wasn’t ready for this
Moving my furniture
Adding your signature
I’d seal my fate if I steal your kiss.
No alibi, no one on my side
My reign would be over
Visions burned to cinders
My possessions, your tinder,
Over and over, round and around
It’s never one last dance with you,
Never was I entranced with you.
Time and time and time again
You were the disease eating through my brain.
The voices in my head
Won’t heed you still
They’re all out for war
Access denied, card declined
You can’t shop at my store.
Unmedicated, without a notion
You drink and deep dive into my ocean.
No anchor to hold you down
Am I evil if I let you drown?
My life wasn’t a prelude
A primary or preliminary
To rinse and repeat
Just makes me sound scary.
But that’s the only vice I have
I can’t do things by half
I’m letting go, no one will know
You can have the last laugh.
But it’s not me
I know that now,
Money can’t buy
The loss of my worth,
how the insane ones denigrate this earth.
Each time I throw in the towel
Misinformation and assumptions
Make way for my avowal,
We are severed at this junction.
I’ll not be a slave to your design
Won’t be the Jack to your Jill
Too much at stake
Too much to hate
I can’t die on this hill.
The violence drags me through,
The marks are evidence of my existence
It’s sink or swim or crucify or decimate,
I won’t suffer on your need to satiate
There is no ism , no ology can justify your insistence.
From saint to suffocation
It’s weighing down on me
But I never lived a lie,
truth be told, but not to me.
If the story doesn’t end here
There’ll be no train waiting at the station.
A road less travelled, so much unravelled
It’s no surprise, no compromise,
Just wear the cuts and take the hurt,
with pills on the windowsill,
Don’t kill, don’t kill, don’t kill, don’t kill…..
Azra Pathan
Amongst Liars – The Insane Ones out now